


if you feelin drunk (put your hands in the air)

by dandeliondun



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Birthday Party, Drunken Confessions, First Kiss, Getting Together, Hangover, M/M, Peer Pressure, tyler is stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-05 16:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17328482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandeliondun/pseuds/dandeliondun
Summary: There was a reason Josh had never seen Tyler drunk.ORDrunken Tyler has loose lips that s̶i̶n̶k̶ sail ships





	if you feelin drunk (put your hands in the air)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song Shots by LMFAO, you might have heard of it.

* * *

There was a reason Josh had never seen Tyler drunk.

He'd seen Tyler as a giddy and lively boy joking about anything and belting out lyrics to songs dedicated to Mexican food. He'd also seen him at his absolute worst, consumed with vicious thoughts and a dangerous mindset, plagued by his own mind and with self-doubt and hatred. And he'd seen Tyler as everything in between, moody, goofy, angry, passionate, timid, vulnerable, everything.

Just not drunk.

Tyler planned to keep it that way.

Because even when he was happy and depressed and moody and goofy and angry and passionate and timid and vulnerable, he still had _control_. He had control over what came out of his mouth. He knew what to keep secret;  _he_ _knew_ when to keep his big, fat mouth shut.

Tyler did not have control when he was drunk.

He'd only been blackout drunk once in his life, and if it told him anything about himself, it was that _drunken_ _Tyler_ _had_ _loose_ _lips_.

He would spill secrets he didn't even _remember_  sober. The girl who kicked his ass in third grade, the boy he cried over in tenth, the fact that he was _utterly_ _in_ _love_ _with_ _his_ _best_ _friend_.

Well, not that last part. Not yet anyway.

So Tyler didn't drink,  _couldn't_ drink, not with a secret like that under his belt. It was hard enough to keep his really not straightthoughts to himself when he _did_ have control ("Hey, bro, dude, my homie, my man, you look really fucking hot in that muscle tee, like, holy _shit_ , dude, just fuck me against this wall right now, please and thank you!"). He couldn't imagine—he didn't _want_  to imagine what loose-lipped, spill your guts, sell your soul to the devil, drunk Tyler might say.

And maybe that forever cast him as a designated driver or the one friends would boo at for being boring, but he didn't care. Touching alcohol was a death sentence for him and for anybody who trusted him with any kind of sensitive information, and he knew it.

So, as he sat there, scrolling through Twitter at a random club's bar, he tried to remind himself of that every time the cute bartender walked over and asked if he wanted anything.

"Hey, stranger."

Tyler looked up with a raised brow, knowing before he even looked up that the person who was now seated to his right was Josh. "Dude, what are you doing over here? I'm the buzzkill, remember? It's your birthday, get drunk, get laid, regret tomorrow, _have_ _fun_ ," Tyler snorted, making Josh roll his eyes.

"I can't have fun unless my best friend has fun, dummy," Josh huffed as if it had been the most obvious answer in the world.

Tyler tried not to let those words get to his head, but, wow, his ego was swelling almost as much as his dick had when he saw what Josh was wearing that night before they got to the club (a tight-ass t-shirt that highlighted every god-damn muscle on Josh's upper body with some tight-ass jeans that hugged his sharp hips and the curve of his ass _so_ good).

"This is fun. I'm totally enjoying myself; can't you tell?" Tyler asked, gesturing to his slouched figure and the over-enthusiastic smile on his face. "So, seriously, go have fun. Find Ashley and Hayley and have a threesome or something."

"Ew, gross, dude, they're basically my sisters!"

"You're right, forget I said anything. Find a stranger who you'll never learn the name of and will be out of your bed before you wake up tomorrow."

Josh sighed, his expression lightening softly. He shuffled closer to Tyler, whose gaze was still locked on his phone.

"Are you, um, are you actually, like... enjoying yourself? If not, we can leave and just go to Taco Bell or something, seriously," Josh said gently, resting his hand on Tyler's shoulder and making him look up. "I know the whole bars and clubs gimmick isn't really your thing, so if you seriously want to leave..."

"Josh," Tyler comforted, unable to keep the smile off of his face because, fuck, Josh was so sweet and so caring and looked really good and, wow, Tyler was fucked. "It's _your_ birthday, not mine. I will be happy seeing you go out on that dance floor and do whatever people do on a dance floor. Dance? Grind a little? Who gives a shit. But, seriously, I'm fine."

Josh still looked unconvinced.

"You don't _look_ fine."

"When do I ever?"

The blonde sighed, but he stayed persistent.

"Maybe if you... loosened up a little?"

Josh was giving Tyler a look far too suggestive, and the brunette broke into a sweat. "I hope you're not suggesting what I think you're suggesting."

"Just one little drink, dude, to calm your nerves."

"Josh," Tyler laughed nervously. "C'mon, man."

"Just one? For me? Pleeeease?" Josh bat his eyelashes, and there went Tyler's self-control.

 _Just order it to get him off your back_ , he told himself. _You don't have to drink it._

"Okay, look. Hey, bartender? Yeah, hi. Give me, uh..." Tyler glanced at the other people at the bar, noticing a drink that looked cool. "Give me what that guy has," Tyler asked, lazily gesturing in the man's direction and turning to face the blonde with a smile.

"See? Fine."

Josh sighed but smiled back none the less. "You better be less tense and more relaxed when I come back here to check up on you," he warned, making Tyler laughed airily and wave him away. "Yeah, yeah."

Tyler watched his friend slip back into the sea of sweaty people and then sighed. Josh was so sweet to everybody, way too sweet for somebody like him.

"Here y'go."

Tyler turned around at the sound of a suspiciously brightly colored drink clinking against the wooden countertop. He blinked at it and the water droplets beading on the outside of the glass for a second before shaking his head and turning away.

Death sentence, he reminded himself. A death sentence.

* * *

 If that drink was a death sentence, Tyler was long dead.

He'd actually held himself back for surprisingly long, considering he caught sight of Josh dancing on some pretty girl in the mass of horny people in the middle of the dance floor.

 _You should be happy for him_ , Tyler snapped at himself. _Stop being a selfish little bitch._

Needless to say, his first sip of alcohol in almost ten years was a long one.

And that first sip became two, and then three, and then Tyler was ordering himself a round of shots and, _oh, well, there goes all my effort of keeping my really gay feelings for my straight best friend to myself_ , he thought with a giggle.

And even though he knew he was screwed, he didn't care, and, _God_ , he missed not caring. He hadn't felt this good in _years_  and, sure, he would feel the bad crashing down on him ten times worse in the morning, but _he_ _didn't_ _care._

Another thing about drunk Tyler is that he was a mess of bottled up hormones and emotions, those emotions usually being suppressed deep down almost to where he could pretty much pretend they didn't exist. But when Tyler was drunk those thoughts came slithering out of the dark and took control of most of his brain.

Meaning, he really, really, _really_ wanted to find Josh.

Stumbling from his bar stool, he tripped over his feet, giggling to himself as he began to push through the first layer of people on the dance floor. He had only gotten through two or three layers before he felt a hand grab his wrist.

"Jishwa!" he cheered excitedly, turning around and finding out that, oh, it wasn't Josh. "You're not Jishwa," he pouted. The man who still had his wrist firmly in his grasp smirked.

"No, I'm not, sugar, but how's about we have some fun anyway, hmm?"

"N-no, thanks," Tyler hiccuped, weakly trying to pull his arm away. "I kinda already have a thing for my best friend, and I'm not looking for anything that might jeopardize my tiny chance of him not being straight," Tyler said seriously, pulling at his arm once more and huffing when the man still wouldn't let go.

"Let goooo," he whined, huffing and jutting out his bottom lip."

"I don't think so, sugar. I'm not ever gonna let you g—"

"Tyler!"

Both men looked up to see a worried Josh jogging over, concern plastered over his features. "I went back to the bar to see how you were doing and... can I help you?"

Josh's eyes were narrowed at the man who had finally released Tyler from his grip. The brunette visibly lightened at the sight of the blonde, stumbling into his arms and burying his nose in his shirt collar. Did Josh always smell this good? He probably did, but, holy shit, Josh smelled _really_ _good_. Tyler let out a near-pornographic moan into his chest.

"Was this man bothering you, Tyler?" he asked. Tyler nodded slightly but just giggled, content with just being in Josh's arms. "Yeah, but I'm okay now. Don't beat him up, or I might get a boner," Tyler muffled into the older's shirt.

"Ty, I can't hear you when you speak into my shirt like that," Josh sighed, and in the split second Josh took to gently coax Tyler's face out of his chest, the man slipped back into the crowd, making Josh curse softly under his breath.

"Lucky bastard," he muttered. "C'mon, Ty-guy, let's get you home."

Tyler whined, shaking his head and locking his arms around Josh's neck. "Nuh-uh, your place. Wanna be with you."

"Oh, uh, okay," Josh murmured. He was not used to this kind of Tyler, in fact, he didn't think he had ever dealt with Tyler when he was drunk before, and knowing he was the reason Tyler was drunk in the first place did not settle well in his stomach.

Though difficult, Josh found a way to dig his phone from his back pocket as Tyler stumbled along next to him, clinging to him tightly and nibbling at his sleeve.

"Hey, Ashley, it's Josh. Sorry for ditching you, but Tyler is really drunk, and I gotta get him home. Tell Hayley and Brendon I'm sorry too. Bye."

"You look really nice in jeans, y'know?" Tyler asked, making Josh roll his eyes. "Sure, bud."

"No, but, Josh, you always look so hot in jeans; it's not fair. You shouldn't be allowed to be this good looking."

Josh laughed a little nervously, not sure what to say. Tyler was still wrapped tightly around his torso even after exiting the building and being hit in the face with the crisp air of a summer night wind.

"It's like God made me my own little temptation fruit from the Garden of Eve. You're super good looking and, like, I wanna kiss you a lot, but I'm not allowed to or some shit."

Tyler was babbling now, and Josh had a feeling that he was not supposed to know about these things.

"Tyler, please, stop talking."

"And, like, that's totally not fair of him to do, even if he _does_ think gay people are gross or whatever. Like, you're gonna give me, the awkward and quiet gay guy, the really hot, too good to be true best-friend? That's just fucked up, man. Like, he can come down here and fight me, straight up. _Ha!_  'Straight' up. Irony."

Josh had a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach as he placed his best friend in the passenger seat because, holy shit, Tyler just _came_ _out_ _to_ _him_  while shit-faced drunk, and he _still_ just wouldn't _shut_ _up._

"You're, like, really hot, Josh," he sighed dreamily, giving his friend a dopey grin. "Uh-huh," Josh said quietly, closing Tyler's door and walking around to the driver's side.

 _Tyler's_ _gay_ , he realized. _And he's attracted to me._

Holy shit.

Swallowing thickly, Josh hopped into his side of the car, jumping in surprise as Tyler let out a relieved gasp. "You're back! I was starting to miss you," Tyler giggled, smiling brightly at the blonde, who just felt queasy.

"Let's get you home," he said softly, starting the engine.

Tyler hummed softly to himself as they pulled off the curb, kicking his feet. His cheeks were dusted a light pink from the alcohol, and the swell of his smile was broad. Josh didn't think he had ever seen Tyler so relaxed, and while that was a good thing, it was like being under the influence caused Tyler to lose all sense of censorship and filter. He just spewed out whatever came to mind without a second thought.

"Hey, hey, h-hey, Jishwa, you wanna know a secret?" Tyler giggled, his eyes glinting with mischief. Josh glanced at him nervously out of the corner of his eye, stopping at a red light. "Tyler, please, for God's sake, stopping talking. The morning is already gonna be hell for you; I'm not gonna let you do that to yourself," he warned.

"Oooo, what are y'gonna do, huh?" Tyler tested, watching as Josh glanced at him anxiously, accelerating as the light changed.

"I'll... I'll t-tape your mouth shut, or... something."

" _Kinky_ ," Tyler purred. "I'm into it though. Gag me, baby."

Josh choked, ears burning a bright red as Tyler giggled wildly from the passenger seat. He slapped Josh's chest, smiling and laughing like a child.

"I'm kiiiiding," he snorted, kicking his feet up excitedly. "As fun as that sounds, I'm not _that_  easy to shut up."

Josh was a sitting duck as the driver, too worried about keeping his eyes on the road to be able to prevent Tyler from spilling anything else life-changing. Thankfully, Tyler could only get out a few stories about high school Josh had never heard before, for good reason, (having a massive crush on his math teacher, Mr. Micheals, and blowing a senior in the boy's locker room) before Josh was pulling up to his apartment and turning off the engine.

"And that's why I hum when I give head, Josh, otherwise I can't get the dick down far enough without gagging," Tyler supplied.

Josh was still in shock after learning that his best friend was gay—not that it mattered, but it still came as a surprise. He and Tyler had been friends since high school and to learn that Tyler hadn't been attracted to women that whole time but attracted to _dudes?_ How hadn't he noticed?

Tyler was secretive, yeah, but not with _him_. Maybe that was egotistical of him to think, but _apparently_ , all he ever had to do was give Tyler a couple of drinks and he'd spill his guts to any random stranger.

Josh regretted that thought immediately; it left a sour taste in his mouth. This was Tyler's business, not his. Tyler hadn't been ready to tell him these things, and because of Josh and his peer pressuring him into a drink, his best friend was now a blabbering drunk.

"You look really pretty, Jishwa," Tyler said with a sigh, staring at his best friend from the passenger's seat. "How did I ever get so lucky, y'know? I think about that a lot."

Josh cleared his throat, willing away the color in his cheeks. Josh was most definitely not a good friend for doing this. And here Tyler was, praising like he was the best thing that had ever happened to him. "You're drunk, Tyler."

"Doesn't mean I don't love you."

Josh snapped his head over to see Tyler staring at him with a goofy, lovestruck grin

No. God, _no_. Please, don't let him mean it...

"I love you, Josh."

"I love you too, Ty," Josh said quietly, unbuckling his seatbelt and praying to god Tyler didn't mean it like he was suspecting he did.

Tyler shook his head, and Josh had a feeling he knew what was coming next. "I don't love you _that_  way, dumb dumb. I love you like this."

And suddenly Josh had a lap full of Tyler and, _shit, fuck, damn_ , Tyler was kissing him and, _holy fucking fuck_  was Tyler gonna hate him in the morning. Josh tried, he really, _really_ tried. He placed his hands on Tyler's chest and pushed with _totally_ all of his might and most definitely did not consider for even a minute that he might be pressing back with his lips just a bit, just an itty bitty amount.

Because that'd be insane, irrational, _impossible_.

Oh, _God_ , this was bad. This was so, so bad. He couldn't be doing this. This was such a shitty thing to do. Was he... enjoying this?! Tyler was his best friend, his _drunk_ best friend whom he was currently _taking advantage of_.

" _Joooooosh_ ," Tyler let out a long, high-pitched whine of his name as he became more desperate, pressing into Josh as hard as he could and squirming against his torso, just wanting, _needing_ , to be as close to Josh as possible.

A surprised yelp escaped Josh's mouth and was swallowed by Tyler as the younger thrust against Josh's abdominal muscles, shuddering and letting out a loud whimper.

"T-Tyler! Tyler, _Jesus_ , s-slow down! Ty, c'mon..." Josh gently coaxed Tyler away from him, making the brunette pout. His lips were a pretty swollen red, his cheeks a bubblegum hue and his eyes like molten chocolate.

And... did Josh just seriously think that about his best friend?

"C-c'mon, bud. You're already gonna regret enough in the morning."

Tyler blinked up at him owlishly, almost like he didn't understand what that meant. "Don't you like my kisses?" he whispered, looking genuinely hurt.

"Of course I do, I just—" There's no way, there's no way he just said he liked kissing Tyler. Oh, fuck. Oh, _fuck_ , he totally had. This was a mess; easily the weirdest birthday Josh had ever experienced, and he'd been invited to more than a few of Brendon's.

Tyler looked confused, but Josh just groaned, hoisting Tyler further into his arms with a grunt and then pushing open the car door.

"I'm so screwed," he muttered under his breath, hands lacing underneath Tyler's ass as he carried him to the front door. Tyler was tracing his finger along Josh's jawline, giggling slightly at the feeling of his stubble. Josh struggled to carry the grown man while resisting the urge to pull away from the tickling touch of Tyler's fingertips tracing down his neck.

"You're handsome," Tyler sighed, resting his cheek on Josh's shoulder and humming as the smell of Josh's cologne wafted into his nose. The hair atop Tyler's head tickled brushed his chin.

He was _so. Fucking. Screwed_.

Tyler continued to babble senselessly about Josh's attractiveness, wriggling in Josh's arms as the older struggled to adjust to his shifting weight.

"Tyler, could you—Tyler, stop moving. I can't get a good grip—Tyler...," Josh moaned, the brunette squirming in his grasp. He finally settled back into Josh's arms bridal style, sighing and tucking his face into Josh's jugular, nibbling on his shirt collar.

"Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, everybody," Tyler whispered to himself, Josh kicking the door shut behind him with an exasperated but fond expression. "Y'know, that works with your name too. Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh..." Tyler's chant was interrupted by a yawn. "Josh, Josh...Josh, Josh, Josh... every...body..."

Josh rolled his eyes affectionately, Tyler's breath slowing against his neck as he relaxed. He brought Tyler to the guest bedroom, preparing to place Tyler down on the bed when he let out a loud whine. "Your room, your room" Tyler whimpered, clutching Josh's shirt tightly. Sighing, Josh carried Tyler out of the guest room and into his bedroom, placing him gently on the bed.

"Mmm," Tyler giggled, rolling over and burying his nose in Josh's pillow. "Smells like you."

Tyler curled his knees to his chest, and Josh noticed he was still in his skinny jeans. "Hold on, Tyler, don't get too comfy. You gotta change first."

Whining, Tyler shook his head, curling himself tighter. "You're really gonna make me undress you?" Josh asked. Tyler simply turned his head, craning his neck and giving Josh puppy eyes.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, the blonde sighed for what felt like the millionth time that night. "Alright, arms up," he grumbled, watching as Tyler lazily raised his arms above he head. He tugged the brunette's shirt over his frame and then his eyes landed on the jeans hugging Tyler's legs.

"Can you unbutton your jeans at least?" Josh mumbled, but Tyler shook his head, simply shifting his torso so that it faced the older. Josh ignored the color rushing to his cheeks and quickly unbuttoned Tyler's jeans, taking hold of the waistband and sliding them off of his hips.

Tyler let out a sigh once undressed, nuzzling into Josh's bedspread. The blonde pulled the duvet out from under Tyler and back up over his shoulders. "Goodnight, Tyler," Josh mumbled. Turning to leave the room, a small voice stopped him in the doorway.

"Wh-where are you going?"

Josh turned around and saw Tyler sitting up, a confused look on his face. "I'm gonna sleep in the guest room. It's right across the ha—"

"Y-you're leaving?"

Tyler had a completely devastated look on his face, and Josh swallowed. "Tyler, I'll be right next door."

"Nuh-uh!" Tyler sniffled, stumbling out from under the covers and back over to Josh, who groaned. "Tyler, get back in bed."

Josh let out a grunt as Tyler practically launched himself into the blonde's grasp, his arms wrapped tightly around his broad shoulder, and his head tucked into his chest.

"N-not without you!"

"Tyler...," Josh groaned. He suddenly blinked in surprise, the brunette's body shaking with quiet sobs. "Dude," Josh whispered. "Are you crying?"

"P-please don't go...," Tyler whimpered, looking up at Josh with glossy eyes. "I need you. I-I need you so much, please, _please!_ "

 _Shit_ , Josh thought. _Shit, shit, shit._

Taking a shuddering breath, Josh cradled Tyler's head and gently walked him back to the bed. Tyler sniffled, whimpering weakly, thinking Josh would leave him all by himself. 

"Please," he wailed. "Please don't leave m-me."

"Shhh, I'm not going anywhere, Ty," Josh soothed, making the brunette shudder in relief, hiccuping weakly into the blonde's chest.

"I-I love you," Tyler mumbled as Josh lay him back down. "Love you so mu-much."

Josh tugged his shirt over his head, smiling softly at Tyler, who looked at him with sleepy eyes. He sat down in the bed and shucked off his jeans, Tyler latching onto his arm once he finished.

"I love you too, Tyler, now, go to sleep. You're already gonna hate yourself enough in the morning."

Josh settled down under the covers next to Tyler, who immediately shifted against the blonde's chest. Leaning up, he pressed a kiss on Josh's jaw, making the older man freeze. Tyler continued trailing kisses up Josh's skin until he reached his lips, arms wound tightly around his neck.

And maybe Josh kissed back, but he would blame it on the fact that he was still just a little tipsy in the morning. The blonde placed both his hands on Tyler's chest when things became a bit too heated.

"Tyler," he warned, making the brunette pull back with flushed cheeks.

"Sorry," he giggled, nuzzling back into Josh's chest. "'M just not sure if I'll ever be able to do that again."

And suddenly Josh felt sick all over again.

Staring down at the brunette, who had finally fallen asleep, Josh realized he and Tyler would have a lot to talk about in the morning, including, but not limited to, Tyler's sexuality, _Josh's_ sexuality, the fact that Tyler  _was in love with Josh_ , and the fact that Josh honestly wasn't opposed to making out with Tyler again.

Josh pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, groaning softly. When did everything suddenly become such a shit storm?

Tyler yammered quietly in his sleep, tangling his legs with Josh's under the covers and snuggling further into his neck.

The blonde had a million things to worry about, but right now, all he cared about was how soft Tyler's skin felt against his.

* * *

The first thing Tyler noticed when he woke up was the pain. 

Groaning, he rolled onto his side and tucked his head into his knees, an insufferable pounding behind his eyes. He forgot how much hangovers sucked.

The second thing he noticed was that he was not in his bed.

Eyes snapping up, Tyler sat up with a jolt, immediately groaning as his head seared with pain. He brought his hand up to his forehead, the covers falling off of his upper body, ripping a shiver out of him.

The third thing he noticed was his lack of clothing.

Tyler froze, peeking under the covers. he was wearing nothing but his briefs in a bed that didn't belong to him, and he could barely remember a thing from last night. And the more he looked around, the more he realized that he actually _recognized_  the room he was in, which is even _worse_  than waking up on a stranger's bed.

But it wasn't until he looked at the bedside table did he realized whose bedroom this was. There, on the nightstand, was a glass of water, a bottle of pills, and a small note.

_Considering how wasted you were last night, I'm assuming you haven't gotten drunk in a while, which means your hangover is gonna kill. Left you some meds :^)_

_♡Josh_

For someone who hadn't drunk a drop of alcohol in ten years, he literally did the _one thing_  he never wanted to do when he got drunk.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,  _fuck_ ," Tyler hissed, struggling to untangle himself from the duvet, and falling out of the bed in a mess of sheets like an idiot. If Josh was downstairs, and Tyler knew he was because he could smell his "world famous" bacon, as he called it, he _most definitely_ heard the noise Tyler made, and now the brunette was panicking. He wrestled with the bedspread, still half hanging awkwardly off of the bed and half on the floor. He was so preoccupied with his predicament that he didn't hear Josh walking up the stairs until it was too late.

"Tyler? I heard a bang. Are you...," Josh trailed off as he noticed Tyler on the ground, who looked like an upside-down deer in the headlights.

At the sight of Josh, hair messy, eyes tired, nothing but a pair of low-slung sweatpants, it was as if someone had flipped a light switch in the younger's brain, and memories of last night flashed in his head.

Safe arms, hard chest, soft lips, confessions, crying, cuddling.

Tyler was suddenly bombarded with images, and as they flashed behind his eyes, he felt a wave of nausea punch him hard in the gut. scrambling off of the floor, he pushed past Josh and into the bathroom, where he emptied the contents of his stomach, which wasn't much, into the toilet.

Coughing up bile, Tyler groaned, gripping the toilet seat until his knuckles turned white, suddenly remembering his headache when it slapped the back of his head and made him feel like his eyes were falling out of his skull.

"Fuuuuuck," he groaned. "Life fucking sucks."

"Tell me about it." 

Tyler jumped, turning his head to see Josh sitting down next to him, his head resting against the cabinet underneath the sink. He turned his head, offering out what he had in his hand, which was the glass of water and pills from his nightstand.

Tyler couldn't even look at Josh without feeling sick, quickly swiping the contents from his hand and downing the pills. Tyler didn't move, just stared awkwardly in the toilet bowl as Josh stood and flushed its contents.

"I made breakfast," the blonde grunted, making Tyler nod weakly. There was a tension in the air with the silence that followed until Josh cleared his throat. "That's code for, 'Come downstairs so we can talk about what happened last night,'" he mumbled, exiting the bathroom without waiting for a reply.

Only, Tyler didn't want to talk about what happened last night. He wanted to forget it ever happened, he wanted to forget that he had come out as gay, forget that he had fucking _blabbed_ the fact that he was in love with his best friend _to said best friend_.

Rubbing his eyes, he held back the tears he knew would come later, probably when Josh had kicked him out, and he was back at home in the safety of his routine, lonely existence; that's when they usually came.

 _Idiot_ , he spat at himself. _Moron, dumbass, you've really fucked up this time, and there's no way to weasel your way out of this one. You have to face the fact that you're a fucking idiot loser and go talk to him._

Sighing miserably, Tyler pulled himself together enough to stand up and shuffle back to Josh's room. If he was going to do this, he'd need more clothes. He pulled out a random hoodie from Josh's collection and tugged it over his bed head, snuggling into it and inhaling deeply.

Josh really did always smell good.

He walked back to the bathroom and brushed his teeth to get rid of the gross taste in his mouth before he padded quietly down the stairs and tried to hide the blush on his face the second he saw Josh. He was leaning against the counter, eyes closed as he sipped a steaming mug of coffee.

Tyler had kissed those same lips yesterday, the brunette remembered, hiding his face deeper under the collar of Josh's hoodie at the thought. He silently walked over to the kitchen, sitting down in one of the bar stools set up at the counter. Tyler forgot what a beautiful kitchen Josh had; he hadn't been here in a while.

"I've been thinking a lot about yesterday since I woke up."

Tyler looked up as Josh spoke. he hadn't moved; his eyes were still closed, and he hadn't even shifted his elbows from where they rested against the other side of the counter.

"You have?"

Josh hummed in response, an affirmation.

"Thinking a lot about... how I feel about you and how you make me feel."

Tyler swallowed thickly, tapping his fingers nervously against the marble countertop. "Good, I hope," the younger joked dryly, laughing nervously and trying to ignore the fact that his hands were shaking. Tyler shut up when Josh opened his eyes.

"How do you feel about me, Tyler? How do I make you feel?"

Tyler was blushing, and he knew it. It was embarrassing and pathetic how a simple question could get to him so easily. "Y-you already know the answer to that," he mumbled, ducking his head to hide the redness of his cheeks.

Josh turned to face him.

"I do, but I want to hear it from you sober. You didn't want me to know when you told me. I want to know that you _want_ me to know now."

Josh was giving him an out. Tyler could give him a little bro punch on the arm with an awkward laugh, lie and say, "You're my best bro, bro," and Josh would smile and never bring it up again. Then everything would go back to normal.

But Tyler didn't _want_ to go back to normal. Normal was bittersweet, unrequited pining and sad, lonely brooding and pathetic, furious masturbating.

Josh pulled Tyler's hands into his from across the counter, making the brunette look up shyly. "Tyler, you're my best friend, nothing will change that."

 _I don't believe you_ , Tyler wanted to say, but the fact that he had made out with Josh last night and the blonde was still here, did calm his nerves, even if only a little.

"I..." He was blushing again, laughing almost masochistically at his own awkwardness. "Josh... I have been in love with you since senior year of high school. There, I said it."

Tyler got up, too embarrassed by his own confession to even be able to face Josh, but as he went to turn around, he realized the grip on his hands had not loosened. He looked up curiously, unsure of the older's intentions.

"Josh...?"

"Alright, cool. I just wanted to make sure."

Suddenly Tyler was yanked toward Josh, their lips crashing together unceremoniously. Tyler was very glad he'd brushed his teeth after throwing up, because vomit-breath was nasty. The angle was awkward, with half of Tyler's body sprawled across the counter while the other half struggled to touch the ground, and the brunette's hips stung from where they dug into the marble. _Well, that's easily fixed_ , Tyler thought as he crawled _across the top of the counter_ , Josh's hand curled tight around the back of his head.

Josh tasted like mint gum and bitter coffee and, fuck, he tasted like god-damn home.

 _I'm dead_ , Tyler decided, as Josh pulled him off of the countertop and wrapped the brunette's legs around his waist. _I got alcohol poisoning and died, and this is my heaven._

Tyler quickly realized that couldn't be the case because, if he knew himself at all, he was most certainly not going to heaven.

"You're kissing me," Tyler panted between kisses, arms wound around Josh's neck. "and we're sober."

Kiss.

"Uh-huh."

Kiss, kiss.

"Is this a dream?"

Another kiss.

"Nope."

Some more kisses.

"Holy shit."

Laughing, Josh finally pulled away some, leaving Tyler wide-eyed and, he's not gonna lie, _really_ horny.

"So, uh..." Tyler cleared his throat, unsure of his next move. He was still tight in Josh's arms, legs wrapped around his waist and hands linked behind his neck, and considering Josh was wearing nothing but sweatpants, Tyler was feeling pretty hot downstairs. "H-how, uh... What should I...?" Tyler was unsure what to say.

"Listen, Ty..." Now it was Josh's turn to blush, turning his gaze to the right. "I... I've only done... _stuff_  with a guy before a couple times,"

Oh. _Oh_.

"I'm not completely sure what my feelings for you are o-or what they mean, but I clearly think of you as more than just my best friend, considering the fact that we just made out in my kitchen, and I am feeling _very_  willing to do that again, but I'm still kinda... new to all the guy on guy stuff, so I'm not sure if I'd... be any good at that, I guess."

Tyler smiled, rubbing his thumb along Josh's jaw.

"The only thing you're worried about it not being able to satisfy me in bed? Sheesh, Josh, I'm not some sex-crazed animal or something," the brunette teased. The blonde rolled his eyes before cupping Tyler's ass and pulling him closer, effectively grinding Tyler along his thigh.

"That iron rod in your underwear says otherwise," he hummed, satisfied with the small groan that escaped Tyler's lips. With fluttering eyelids and a mischievous giggle, Tyler's eyes glinted, skating his fingers up and down Josh's sides.

"For someone who just admitted to "being new" to gay stuff, you're playing a dangerous game," Tyler purred, leaning forward and brushing his lips against the shell of Josh's ear, relishing in his shudder.

"Am I? Hadn't noticed."

"You're about to."

Tyler released his legs from Josh's waist and got to his knees, gazing up at him with an innocent look, despite what he was about to do to his "best friend."

"Perk number one of being gay," Tyler hummed, tracing the growing outline of Josh's dick through his sweatpants. "Guys give _way_  better blowjobs."

**Author's Note:**

> There's a gross amount of italics in this, but I wrote it like a year and a half ago, so give me a break. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this trainwreck.


End file.
